Ponderings
Our Short Guide To Better Nonmonogamy
Whether you are wanting to open your romantic relationship, explore polyamory as a single person dating, or you’ve been in non-monogamous relationships for a while and feel like you just can’t quite get a handle on it, this...
Rules, Agreements, Boundaries, and Limits (redux)
Revisiting our post on rules, agreements, and boundaries to build in a bit more understanding, and a littler more nuance.
Behaviors People Engage In When They Are Jealous
People engage in many different kinds of behaviors to avoid feeling “bad” feelings. This week we break down some of those behaviors, and how they might manifest in your life.
Jealousy As A Route To Identifying Your Needs
Our first post in this series talked about some of the ways people try to avoid jealousy, and begins talking about those behaviors. Our post this week looks at what needs might be under that feeling so that you can identify them and work to get them met. The Needs...
Your Guide To Identifying And Understanding Jealousy
The first in a series of posts about jealousy. We begin with definitions, why we may feel jealous, how it manifests, and start talking about ways to address it.
How Can I Fix Emotional Intimacy In My Nonmonogamous Relationships?
It’s very common for people in long term relationships to start to feel a lack of intimacy. This can impact all aspects of the relationship. This weeks post looks at how to address when intimacy feels like it is waning, and how to build and bolster it.
Questions To Build Emotional Intimacy In Nonmonogamous Relationships
Developing emotional intimacy is a process, one that takes time and energy. Being able to cultivate that in your relationships can start from the first date. Here are some questions to ask of yourself, and another, to assist with that.
How Can I Tell If I’m Emotionally Intimate?
Building off of last weeks post about emotional intimacy, this week we’re talking about how to tell if you are emotionally intimate, and if not how to build that.
Understanding Emotional Intimacy: Your Guide to More Fulfilling Relationships
This week we discuss intimacy, and the many different ways it exists in our lives.
Being Asexual In Relationship With An Allosexual
Will opening up help? This is a question we see a lot in the therapy room, especially as more people are becoming familiar with the concept of asexuality. Desire discrepancies in monogamous relationships are one of the most difficult problems couples, and...
Best Dating Apps (and places) for Nonmonogamous Relationships
This week we talk about the many different dating apps that exist, their positives and negatives, and where to try to find people to date!
Mutuality vs. Autonomy in Nonmonogamous Relationships
In relationships with others we exist along a spectrum of mutuality vs autonomy. Where we land on this spectrum is influenced by the trauma we have experienced, how our needs and wants have been met in our lives, and our attachment styles. Finding a healthy balance for yourself in your relationship dynamics is important to increase potential longevity of connections, and getting your needs met in healthy ways.
Recent Legal Breakthroughs in nonmonogamous Relationships
Most of the information in this blogpost was obtained from a webinar that was recorded in October 2022. You can watch the webinar here. You can also hear about legal breakthroughs from the Multiamory podcast episode 425. There have been some exciting legal...
6 Tips for Making Good Agreements in Nonmonogamous Relationships
Agreements can be challenging to create. Here are 6 tips to check to see if yours are going to help you achieve your desired outcome, or are setting you up for pain and frustration.
Resource Roundup
One of the biggest requests we get as counselors who work with nonmonogamy is about resources. There are tons of lists out there, but we wanted to provide you with a few of our favorites that are newer, or not often mentioned. This is not an exhaustive list by any means.
When Agreements Go Bad
People make agreements in nonmonogamy for many reasons, often it is to help avoid conflict and hurt feelings. Many early agreements end up failing because people are trying to prevent any “bad” things from happening. Here are some of the common ones that “fail” for different reasons.
Polyamory Form Focus: Polyfidelitous Structures and Unicorn Hunting
A deeper dive into what polyfidelius relationships are, and why unicorn hunting isn’t inherently bad, but is rife is pitfalls and tripping hazards.
The 5 Most Common But Least Useful Agreements In Nonmonogamy
People try to avoid feeling insecure or scared in their relationships in many ways. One of the most common in nonmonogamy is setting agreements that they hope will prevent bad feelings from occurring. Learn why that often doesn’t work in this weeks post.
Relationship Anarchy and Solo Polyamory
Relationship Anarchy and Solo Polyamory are different relationship styles that often fall under the polyamory umbrella of nonmonogamy. We discuss what each of these are, and why people chose these ways of relating to themselves and others.
Rules, Agreements, and Boundaries, Oh My!
People often don’t understand the difference between boundaries, rules, and agreements. These differences are important, and can have a big impact when having conversations about expectations.
Polyamory – Common Misconceptions and the Real Truth
There are many myths surrounding polyamory. In this post we try to separate fact from fiction to help dispel stigma, and increase understanding.