A common question in nonmonogamy communities is “What apps have you used to meet people?”. In most major cities, it’s fairly easy to find people to date, though each app may be more or less popular in that city. If you are in a more rural area, it can get a lot harder to find people who are nonmonogamous in general. We’ve collated a list of the most used apps, along with a few other options of how to get out and meet nonmonogamous people to date or hook up with.
This is literally the only app that is both widely used and was specifically designed for nonmonogamous relationships. You can use your desktop to access a download QR code, or on your phone from Google Play and the Apple Store. There are over 20 sexuality and gender options. You can sign up individually, or indicate that you want to date as a couple or group. You can also link to your partner(s)’ profiles. There is limited space for typing up your profile, but more than enough room to say what you need to say. Feeld requires face verification to create an account, but not everyone has a face picture up for obvious reasons.
Feeld emphasizes creating a safe and inclusive environment. The platform encourages open and honest communication, consent, and respect among its users. It also provides resources and information on various topics related to alternative relationships and sexual exploration. Many do complain about the chat interface, which can be clunky or miss sending notifications when a message comes in.
Found through an app store on your phone
#Open is a unique, open source project also specifically built for nonmonogamous relationships. Users utilize hashtags to find matches. There are plenty of gender and sexuality options. There are not a lot of people on the app, though I hope that changes soon, because the concept is great, and I fully support the work they are doing.
The main thing Tinder has going for it is that it’s got a huge database of users. However, you have to spend some time actually reading profiles to make sure people are looking for nonmonogamous relationships, since there are plenty of monogamous people on there as well. You can hook it up to your Facebook account or use it through your phone. Tinder only recently started allowing multiple genders, sexual orientations, and relationship orientations on the app.
Tinder was the first app to utilize swiping to generate matches. The more you use Tinder, the better it is at matching you with people you are likely to chat with.
OK Cupid allows you to answer questions to help you match better with people, which is its primary draw. The other nice thing is that you can use it on your desktop and on your phone, unlike many of the other apps that only allow you to use them on your phone. You can also filter matches by match percentage, new people, who is online and more. OKC has multiple prompts to help you build your profile. OKC has been around for a very long time, and has a lot of users. In the early 2010s, it was about the only app that helped to filter nonmonogamous people. It has since become less popular with the nonmonogamy crowd. The OKC website also has blog posts and additional information to help you make dating more successful.
More Than One
Available on your phone app store
Also specifically targeted to open relationships, More Than One is primarily for people in the United States. At this time, it has a small member base, so it may not be great for use outside of major cities. It does allow you to search for people and is very welcoming to the LGBTQIA+ community.
Bumble is another very popular app similar to Tinder. Its main feature is that for heterosexual matches, it empowers the women to be the first one to reach out and make conversation. If a match is made, then the woman has 24 hours to reach out via chat. It has several writing prompts to help users create a profile. Bumble isn’t just for dating. It’s also good for making friends or building work and business connections.
Hinge focuses on building more long term relationships through building in-depth profiles and chatting about shared interests and values. They use multiple prompts to help you build out a longer profile. You can also start conversations by liking or commenting on a specific part of someone’s profile. They also have a “we met” feature to help hinge with building matches and tracking success.
Facebook Dating is a feature within the popular social media platform, Facebook, that allows users to discover potential romantic relationships and connections. It is designed to help individuals find and connect with potential partners based on shared interests, preferences, and mutual friends.
To use Facebook Dating, users need to opt into the feature and create a separate dating profile. The dating profile is distinct from the user’s regular Facebook profile, ensuring a level of privacy and separation between the two. The dating profile includes information such as gender, location, interests, and a bio.
One of the unique aspects of Facebook Dating is the ability to discover potential matches within existing friend networks. Users can select “Secret Crushes” from their Facebook friends, and if both individuals add each other to their Secret Crush list, they will be notified of the mutual interest. This feature aims to facilitate connections within a user’s extended social circle.
The main reason we put this one out there is because it is still the best website if you are looking for kinky partners. It’s easy to use on your desktop, and it’s easy to look for people based on similar kinks. You can also engage in community conversations to help you explore your interests and share knowledge. But I’m not going to offer a link to Fetlife. It has been plagued with controversy for the last decade. Its founder (who I won’t name) has said some truly awful things about people, and refuses to ban reported abusers or block racist content. I wish there was another website that did a great job at connecting kinksters with the user base that Fetlife has, but none have managed to make it yet.
A local Facebook, Reddit, or Meetup Polyamory Dating Group or in-person group
Most major cities in the United States and other countries have a Facebook group or Reddit group dedicated to just dating people in the local area. All you have to do is look up polyamory+name of your city, and there’s likely to be at least one if not more. Some local groups aren’t specifically for dating, but do offer up lots of meetup opportunities where you could meet other friends or possible dates. Most of these groups have expectations around friending or chatting with people without prior consent, as well as expectations for how to behave. Some groups do better at vetting members or dealing with people accused of sexual assault than others. These in person meetups may be called Munches, if you’re trying to use specific words to search with. Munch is a common word for them in both the nonmonogamy and kink worlds.
There may be other apps out there, but these are the ones we are most familiar with, and/or have used ourselves. If you know of an amazing one in the works, or a good alternative to Fetlife, we would love to hear about it.